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RHOM S3, Episode 8

By April 10, 2016RHOM Blog

Group Welcome Drinks

Our arrival in Dubai was filled with excitement, high spirits and all smiles.

We kick off with welcome drinks at Nasimi Beach Club. I am feeling a bit emotional about leaving my younger sons at home, but hoping to have a great time with the girls.

Lydia and I arrived at the drinks, there was a surfeit of welcome for Lydia, she was looking stunning by the way, but none of the girls made eye contact with me and it made me feel discarded.

Let’s be honest, my outfit was super sheer; however I could have come butt naked and they would have missed it. I was really looking forward to just enjoying a good time with friends and leaving all our disputes behind us. I confide my feelings in private to Lydia, and I wanted it to stay with Lydia.

Jackie notices and questions the moment, even though I appreciate her concern, “thank you Jackie” I didn’t want it to be a discussion with all the women.

However to my utmost horror, Lydia decides to explain my feelings to the rest of the group. I cringed, as I knew this wasn’t going to end well for me. I know Lydia is coming from a good place, but I did whisper it to her.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that Jackie didn’t ask out of concern, by her comments later.  #nosurprise

The other girls react as expected. Chyka didn’t know anything had happened” Off course she wouldn’t. What really amuses me is that none of them are even slightly aware of their behaviour towards me.

It was nice of Chyka to say “Sorry we don’t want you to feel like that.” Here is the time I should have quit while I was ahead, however, I had a case of foot and mouth disease and stupidly replied “I am used to it.” No free tickets for me now I just blew the one handed to me. One slip by me and all hell breaks loose.

To sum it up: the private moment with Lydia turns to crap for me, the girls continue obliviously.

Don’t know what planet Janet is on or is she delusional? She seems to think that she gives me attention. I don’t recall asking for their attention or to blow smoke up my rear. I just want my presence to be acknowledged. It feels crap to be overlooked.

I am a super loyal friend and when Lydia says she tolerates me. Ouch!

What I really find difficult is that Gina says one thing to my face and then her comments behind my back are opposite.

This group of women, feed their own insecurities, off each other and believe in the nonsense. They don’t seem to have a mind of their own. I don’t recall demonstrating a need for their acknowledgement, I am too scared to ask, at the fear of getting hurt.  Attention, I get plenty of negative attention from them. Do I confront them? yes I do.

I make a sincere comment to Chyka that her lip is brighter and suddenly I have an obsession with her lips. I said it as a compliment, but what do you know I get hammered for making a simple comment.

I am really sorry if I offended Chyka. I don’t get why Chyka got so upset over a simple comment. Perhaps too much of Jackie and Janet influence. When you lie with dogs you get fleas #justsaying.

It was quite apparent that Chyka was getting agitated with Lydia about who knows Dubai better. I think Chyka has become very competitive and ultra sensitive.

Perhaps I should have jumped in and said I had visited Dubai numerous times. Holy Sh** balls I may have ended up in the open sea or shark tank.

The next day is filled with activities.

Lydia, Gina and Gamble meet with the sea Lion and the talk turns to me. It seems like they have all developed a warped sense of a pack mentality about me. My understanding towards Lydia is completely different on how she feels about me.

I must admit, I have build some walls around me. So far they have called me a body builder, transgender, Russian dancer, slag, slut, drainer head, punish, needy, self-absorbed etc.

I have lots of opinions about myself, but I never asked for their validation they are confused and justifying their poor treatment of me.

Underwater Collage
Swimming with the Sharks is an out of this world experience. The water is freezing however, I am feeling a lot safer swimming with the sharks in the water than with the sharks on land.

I couldn’t help myself, I grabbed Susie and Janet’s butts and scared the living daylights of out them.

Ocean Dinner
After a great day and lots of sun we head to Ossiano for dinner. Soon after we sit down Janet rehashed the Gamble Gina feud and prompts Gamble to confront Gina about it.

Why doesn’t Janet let sleeping dogs lie? Does she have to be an instigator of bad blood?

Gamble is clearly needy of Gina’s attention and needing validation, yet Gina hones in on me, I thinks Gina’s judgment is misplaced.

The only one’s been dogs are Janet for bringing it up again and Gamble for giving up on a friendship with Gina and backstabbing her. As for the others fuelling the fire is disgraceful.

The women are fuelling Gamble and I try to neutralize the situation by asking Gamble to look at the positives things at her wedding.

But she takes a swipe at me, and then Janet can’t help herself and takes another swipe at me, ha-ha! That’s when I stumbled over my words and say a “village is missing an idiot.” Unfortunately Gamble doesn’t realize I am trying to help her.

Not one to miss out on a swipe at me Jackie, like Jack In the Box she pops up and throws a low blow thinking it’s going to upset me, instead she lowers herself a further notch.

She accuses me of forgetting where I come from and asks me if I was a maid or housekeeper. What’s wrong in being a maid or housekeeper? If it puts food on the table, I will do it in a heartbeat.

I am trying to explain to Jackie that I wasn’t after a reading, I just wanted her help in locating the birth certificate. However, she keeps cutting me off. It’s not just a matter of waiting in line for 40 minutes, it is the fact that I am sentimental to the original issue date of my son’s Birth Certificate. As mothers we get attached to little things when it comes to our children.

NEWS FLASH

Since the show when to air and this became public. A beautiful caring giving Psychic reached out to me via Facebook and helped me locate my son’s original Birth Certificate. Thank You! Kind people do exist in this world and I am forever thankful.

Susie is bored shitless and has nothing else to contribute so she decides instead of fair play; boot me in the gut. How am I belittling and making a mockery by asking for Jackie’s help? ” Seriously I am dissappointed with Susie.

Why would I ask Jackie to help find my son’s birth certificate if I did not believe in her work?

However I am very skeptical now since Jackie refused Gamble and me for her help. I regret asking.

Jackie is surprised I call her a mean girl. Let me explain Jackie the definition of a mean girl – You ostracize me from the group by ganging up against me with the help of your support team, laugh at me, make fun of me, turn your back on me with the group, roll your eyes, snicker, the list goes on. Yet you call yourself spiritual.

You ostracize Lydia from the group and you have gone after Gina and biased Gamble. With the help of your support group, that’s a pack mentality and mean girl behaviour. Divide and conquer. I just gave you the reason I call you a mean girl. Now look back at your behaviour and see how it fits. #Ijustgaveittoyou.

Glasses White Outfit
Gina, Lydia, Susie and I head off shopping, while Gamble joins the other girls to my utmost surprise. I think she has got some false sense of attention by the other girls.

Unsuspectingly to me, the other group of girls are having digs at me and having a good laugh at my expense. #meangirls Jackie is mimicking me. They are all talking Horse Sh** and rolling around like pigs in mud.

I am having a fabulous time shopping with the girls and I feel very relaxed around them. As Gina said I did look like an 8 year old in my mothers dress. But I was really digging that dress and wanted to order it in a smaller size, so I pranced around to make sure it looked good on me.

We were having a few laughs trying on stuff and for the first time I actually enjoyed asking their opinion on my sunglasses and felt so much love that the girls took the time. I was feeling on top of the world.

Little did I know that the girls were having a meltdown.

I am hurt that Gina thinks, I try to make the girls jealous by the way I dress.  I am not responsible for her thoughts on my dress sense. I dress for me.

Gamble is feeling some love from her new found friends

We sit down for coffee and Gina seems a bit fed up with Gamble antic’s, can’t blame her, hope she has come to realize who the needy/demanding person is and takes her finger off my pulse.

Back to the other group of girls, talks turn to me. Surprise! Surprise! They sum me up firing nasty comments. I am utterly disappointed and gob smacked.

I think they are distorted in their thinking. They see self-confidence, honesty, courage, some who takes no crap, stand up for one’s self and has empathy. They completely lack these values.

Coffee Catch Up
We sit down for coffee, I addressed Jackie’s attitude towards me the night before. Why has she got it in for Lydia and me so bad? We are seeing the cracks of the façade her true colours are shine, shine shining.

I am feeling frustrated of constantly having to defend myself and I loose it with Gina.

Sometimes I do pump up my ego to the girls as my weapon. I know they hate it, however it is the only way I can shut Gina up.

We are all heading off camel riding and to a desert safari dinner. I put a lot of thought into my outfit for the desert and feeling very comfortable with the outcome.

With every dig Jackie takes, not only at me, but at Gina and Lydia, she is convincing me more and more that she is a mean girl. The sound of her laugh when I get on the camel sums it up.

How old is Jackie? 36 3+6=9.

Camel in the sky

When Jackie mounted her camel, all the camel’s made the most ghastly loud noises, it must have felt her energy and it refused to stand up.

It frightened the big laugh out of her. Payback for laughing at me.

The camel ride was excellent; we arrived at sunset to the most beautifully decorated tent and were greeted with traditional Arabic music and a belly dancer.

Belly Dancing Photo

It was fun learning some moves from the belly dancer, she oozed sex appeal and her moves were liquid gold.

 

Dubai Crying
What seems like a reasonable evening is spoiled by sh** stirring Susie, gossiping to Jackie quoting Lydia and throwing my name in the mix, However Jackie is quick to jump on me.

Jackie confronts Lydia and myself, but I can tell I am her prey, by her body language and the mauling kind of look in her eyes with the precision of daggers. I also feel I will have to take this one by myself, because Lydia is going to slid out of this and leave me to hang.

Jackie lies to your face with conviction. You can get to the bottom of a thief, but you can never get to the bottom of a liar.

Jackie is very rude and aggressively questions me on behalf of the group. I am shocked and horified at her interrogation.

I would never call anyone frumpy especially Chyka. She is always immaculately dressed and looks beautiful.

Jackie continues, to give me the 3rd degree. I feel she is trying to discredit me as much as she can.

She is being heartless, no empathy what so ever. She has already got her guns loaded and it is directly pointed at me and I certainly don’t want her to blow up. The explosion will turn Dubai into #Jackshit

She keeps the lies rolling in “I never talk about how you dress to people.” Seriously Jackie have you forgotten you just criticized how I dress and made fun of me at the store with the turban.

She continues “I never bitched behind your back to people and I certainly haven’t discussed what you do, even though I see it as annoying, crude, rude and Ignorant and how you degrade people” I think Jackie is talking to her reflection in the mirror.

I don’t know which angel Jackie is sharing her blessing with, but I see no angel shining on her now.

She has discussed and bitched behind my back multiple times to everyone, calls me a drainer, annoying, head punisher, bitched about me at lunch with Chyka, Janet and Gamble. Stop the lies and get over yourself Jackie.

It is very harsh calling me crude, rude and  ignorant, my education and my track record speaks for itself. If someone is rude to me I will be rude right back if they deserve it. I am not a push over; I didn’t get to where I am by been pushed around.

I don’t degrade people, I wrote my book to help and enlighten people.

I am totally blow away by what is coming out of Jackie’a mouth, in fact stunned. I cannot find words to describe how shocked I am feeling.

This is mean girl and she is in total denial.

When I walked into the welcome drinks I was emotional from missing my boys and it wasn’t because I was looking for a compliment from them.

I was fed up and hurt that I get treated like I am invisible.

I do have feeling and I was vulnerable at that moment. I don’t let these girls see that side of me. I am not ready to be judged

Jackie’s lies will bite her in the ar** when her friends become her foes.

Mark. My. Words!!!

I asked Jackie to stop it! I couldn’t take her screaming at me any longer. Well what do you know?

Gina jumps in; and says “I have never come across a woman who is so self absorbed”. Pot calling the kettle black

I pump up my own ego, I think every one does an exquisite job of pumping up their ego’s.

Gina continues to say I have rubbed everyone the wrong way. Is that why they have had plastic surgery? I have put their noses out of joint. Haha!!

I am feeling very defeated, I am having heat stroke from the camel ride and these women are at me. My only defense is to put my guard up. However at this stage I have no fight left in me I am exhausted and feel on the outside, my friends Gina and Lydia are also picking me apart. I have no one on my court It is #sevenagainstone

I desperately ask if anyone of these women is on my side with a fraction of empathy.

Chyka says we are grown women we don’t have sides. Oh yes you do! Let’s get that one very clear.

Gina said they all care about me. They have a funny way of  showing care. My reaction says it all. REALLY!!!!

Gina continues, “They think you care more about yourself than you care about them. No Sh**!!

What reasons have any of these women given me to care more about them over myself?

In fact I have learned to love myself even more each day. No one can give you love if you can’t give it to yourself. I remind myself that it is the hater that carries the burden of hate; they have to live with it. I will lighten my burden by not letting others opinions fracture my spirit.

This is atrocious behaviour for mature women. we have all had our moments with each other, however I did not see this coming. I am totally blindsided by this pack mentality.

To sum it up I don’t ask for their opinion, validation and approval and that’s why they are bitter. I speak my mind, I stand steadfast, I am confortable in my own skin, I don’t care to compete, and I am loyal and fair. The attributes some of these women do not grasp.

Gina continued to rant and everyone jumped in for the kill. They were screaming at me like a pack of constipated Hyenas.

I just started to shrink away into the seat. I was lost for words. The Punishment Did Not Fit The Crime.

Thank you so much for reading my blog!
See you next week,
Pettifleur!
Xxx


 

9 Comments

  • Pettifleur says:

    Thank you so much for the love and support. You have nailed it on the head. I am not perfect, but everyone seems to sweep their faults under the rug or support anyone who is against me. It is very sad. You are no doubt very clever and see past the smoke and mirrors. Sending love and blessings. xxx

  • Justine says:

    I’m from the States, so I am just seeing this episode. It is always respectable when friends check each other, but what those ladies did was down right mean and grimey. Gina, at any point in time, could have expressed her thoughts to you privately. Jackie, well she’s a Cow (I’d use a different C word, but I’m going to behave), and for someone who is so spiritual and in tuned with the universe, she seems to be missing the memo that she’s an a**hole. Dreadful, nasty woman. Please leave that wretch alone Pettifleur. Her progression of nastiness has even begun to show itself by aging her face. But enough about her, sorry I got a bit ranty. Anyhoo, I’m glad that you are seeing who these women really are. I’d love you to be on a show with women that were actually mature and didn’t act like 11 year olds. It was really disgusting and uncomfortable to watch the talking heads and the dinner scenes. It’s like all they do is ignore you or pick at you, oh and enable Gamble’s nonsensical nonsense. It’s okay for her to whimper and be sad about Gina not staying long enough at the Pub, and to feel “pushed out”, but you say you feel ignored and treated badly and you’re delusional? Whatever, they’re hypocrites, and if anyone’s voice is annoying it is definitely Gamble’s. I prefer watching with subtitles so that I can mute her scenes. It’s like a cat is screeching to death when she speaks. But yes, please do pick yourself up. Not everyone clicks with everyone else’s personality and I’ve observed that older women tend to me childish and vicious that school girls. i hope things get better for you in the next few episodes. If there is a season 4, I hope to see you.

  • Stay strong says:

    Wanted to reach out and wish you the best. Have not seen such immature, two-faced behaviour from a pack of women since junior high school. I’m astonished that these women are among the more wealthy in society because they seem very vulgar Indeed. I have never seen adults act like this.
    A little humour can go a long way when dealing with this kind of behaviour. All the best to you.

  • Chloe says:

    I am 100% all for you. It seems other veiwers are totally blinded by the other ladies nastyness – they’re all nasty girls pf, you deserve friends who wouldn’t even dream of doing that to you and through karma you’ll find them, and everyone will eventually realise how horrible and how truly ugly these other women are on the inside xxx

  • Amy says:

    Is this for real? I mean, don’t get me wrong PF… You look FAB! And clearly you are working your A$$ off to get that body you have! (I too would have been starring at myself for 2 hours in the mirror whilst shopping in Roberto Cavalli Dubai!
    But seriously….. get a GRIP! Is the purpose of this blog purely a window to rant and cry ‘poor me’?
    Here’s a tip: Drop the wall you have around you, stop trying to find things to whinge about and stop being so bloody precious!

    You are a gorgeous woman, you have a wonderful family, great morals, a great life and a fantastic group of gal pals! Just chill out!

  • Elaine Crowhurst says:

    Pettifleur just wonderfully written so glad your big could fill in the gaps.
    After watching the show last night I felt so bad for you after reading your blog it brought me to tears as by reading your blog it is very clear to me that you very much have your finger on the pulse and know exactly who is saying and doing what and it must hurt and being very over whelming for you , I hope to see you back next season but will understand if you don’t 😄😘

  • Jessica says:

    This was an amazing read, and could be so liberating to people who feel less than their worth. Let’s just make this clear..if they loved themselves they would show you love. Anyone who has 2 eyes and ears can see that you mean no harm by any comment you have made thus far, but these women are out to destroy your soul. If they were half decent people they would have empathy, and if they watch back at themselves and think their behaviour is acceptable they should be disgusted. They are the reason so many girls think it’s ok to go through life putting others down without thinking of the repercussions. Beauty is only skin deep..this post shows true beauty within. Never change karma will find them when they have been beaten down and no one is there to catch them when they fall!

  • margarita Sonng says:

    Pettifleur, you are a gorgeous, courageous and intelligent woman; blessed with style and grace and a touch of sass!

    I applaud your courage and strength to stand tall when you are faced with cruel and hurtful remarks and in saying this would truly love to see you blossom from these situations… Instead of biting back with a comment – do the opposite to what they expect say nothing. Give a smile and nothing! I think because of past situations these women have not been forgiving and continually judge you and take any opportunity to have a dig at you which is sad.

    With all my heartfelt wishes I would love to see you sit down calmly and just say what you want to say to them let them have their say take it in and let it go.

    As a women who has a bit of bite myself I know that it comes from a place of insecurity and a need to feel wanted and appreciated and it is sometimes hard to explain this when people don’t understand that what we are trying to say is positive but they only want to see negative.

    I am heart broken watching and seeing you not have a solid bond in the group- I know both Chyka and Lydia.

    My opinion on Lydia is she is sweet but she is not a true friend to you; Lydia can spin shit into gold plated shit but it won’t sparkle.

    Chyka is actually a gorgeous soul and she is rather diplomatic and would hold her tongue than deliberately hurt someone but if she does care about you she would tell you .

    In all my darling after reading your blog I hope you find it therapeutic and let it go- because you are really better than the bickering.

    P.s Jakie is a c**t don’t even think about her for someone who speaks to angels she must be possessed with some bogan daemon the shit she claims is shine shine shine.

  • Shayne muir says:

    My eyes where watering while I was reading you blog
    No one should have to suffer the abuse you are reviving from the other women
    I’m just and ordinary person who will always be in your court
    Your are a strong woman who doesn’t take shit from anyone which is an inspiration to young people from both genders
    Never Change
    From your fan shayne

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